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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Regrets

The clock ticks on and on, as our petty life keeps on moving forward.
Yet again we still look back into our dark forsaken past,
Praying to thicken the darkness,
Praying to forget,
Praying to alter the past,
Being regretful.

Why?
For we have;
Sinned.
It is a part of our human life. There is no escape to it.
We do what we must even if we don't have to.
To cleanse ourself.

It really holds you back, if you were not capable of accepting your past.
There are things that you want to change. For a good cause. For yourself.
The decisions you have made.
The insanity occurred.
The pain you have endured.
The achievements you failed to receive.
So many things. So many things. So many humanly matters.
All beyond our control.

I never like looking back. It could be too dark, too cold for me.
It weakens me. Deeply.

Being regretful, makes me to not be grateful for the present and least praying for the future.
Sometimes I want to run away. I want to start a new life. Meet new people. Make new memories. That is too childish. Selfish.

I know that I don't have to. And that's the truth.
It hurts, accepting the past. We all have to be true of it.

You are not broken from it, but you are only bend.
You can recover, as long as you believe to His Almighty Powers and Plans.

There is always hope, if you are willingly to find it.
Embrace it. Hold onto it. And never let go.

All of this, i would like to dedicate it to you.
It is hard to move on. I understand. I am sorry if I, am being inconsiderate sometimes and also for entering into your life too fast.
It is because, I am worried. That I will lose you.
I don't know why. It exists.

Nobody wants to be reserved. It is too insecure.
Everyone wants to be owned. Secured to the end.

But that, is a risk.
Traumatic experience. For you.

I am learning of you. We are learning of one another.
We can't deny what the heart needs, over the logic of the mind wants.

I need you. All that is of you. Yes you.
Please do not fray.

I am trying my best.
Being there for you. All the time.
Even if you were busy,
Even if you don't need me,

We have so many choices.
We can be picky. That's true. So true.
But,
Out of many, I choose you.

There may exist a gap between us.
Our differences, may be our strength and reliability.
I believe in effort for miracles.
I want that for it is possible, achievable. 

For all of that,
I will wait. And wait. For a need worth waiting.
I want to fix, your broken self. Into a new you.
Using everything i ever had in my capability.
All the tools that I ever have.
Infused with all my heart and soul.
It is beyond than just a mere glue gun.

I am not that much of a religious person. I am, trying. 
We all do. We always do.
The only question is, when?
(For next blog post!)


Until next time,
Sayonara

1 comment:

Izzat A. Noor said...

This is so beautiful, Syaim!